* In case you are not a Yellow Conference attendee, you can find out more about the conference at YellowConference.com *
I attended Yellow Conference in August 2014 and am so sad to miss it this year. I thought I could at least contribute this brutally honest letter I wrote before attending last year. If you've got nerves about the awesome jounrey you're about to take at Yellow, this is for you. Love you my dears and wish I could join you again this year. Have a swell time!
I am beyond excited to meet all of you. And by excited I mean anxious, insecure, and that I have a bit of a stomachache. I didn’t really know that was how I felt…until I started packing. You see—for months Yellow Conference has felt like a far off dream, like a picture of an island on your Pinterest vacation board that you’ll never actually visit. And then I started packing. Started pulling clothes out of my closet at rapid speeds and then chucking them to the ground. Nothing was quite good enough. It felt like the first day of high school and made me want to yell, “Mom, take me to the mall! I have nothing to wear!”
I had to do a little heart check at this point (since I was acting like a hormonal teenager). I realized that I wasn’t just worried about looking fashionable. I wanted to create a persona. I wanted to build a facade over who I was and make sure everyone saw a savvy, creative professional, a put-together, ambitious, up-to-the-moment woman with a sparkly, clean life and a grand plan.
As I’ve read your posts on Facebook and/or Instagram, I have been so impressed by your work, your passion, your innovative movements and I guess I let myself feel small. As if creativity were a pizza and y’all had taken all the big, beautiful, cheesy slices and I could only offer you a fragment of dry crust.
Well, lucky for me that is not how the world works. Someone else’s success does not equal my failure. So, before I meet any of you I want to say I’m sorry for acting like your corporate competitor instead of your sister, collaborator, ally, partner, and friend. Any attitude of insecurity, pride, or bravado that I had before—I’m chucking out the window. I’m going to do my best to be myself, free and playful and present. And instead of trying to impress or out-do you amazing women I am going to learn from you, partner with you, pray with you, befriend you, collaborate with you and dream with you.
I want to get back to the reason I signed up for Yellow in the first place. Reading the description about this conference for the first time felt a bit like coming home, “The Yellow conference attendee is a creative lady who desires to live a whole hearted life. She is a designer, a photographer, a blogger, a stylist, a writer, a filmmaker. Whatever her craft she wants to use it for good. To change the world through her art. To make people smile, to change a life. In big ways and small. She is entrepreneurial minded, with a longing to make her craziest, biggest, scariest ideas become a reality. She knows she was made for great things and desires the know-how to make these things happen. She is an artist. And she will change the world.”
How amazing to be in a room full of women who know in their guts that they are artists, that they will change the world.
This is not about outshining each other or having it all together. It’s about coming together to dream. Pushing all our giftings and platforms together into a big pile to see what we can create when our only agenda is to do good.
I don’t want to think small and worry about my persona or image this weekend—I want to be too busy creating, dreaming, inspiring and learning with you earth-shakers to let those petty things get in the way.
There’s no stopping what a group of creative women with their hearts set on bettering the world can do in the course of 2 days. Let’s make this our best weekend yet!
I can’t contain how excited I am to meet you ladies!
P.S. Thanks for letting me be entirely vulnerable before we even meet. And for anyone else feeling frazzled, competitive, small—can I just remind you that you were indeed created to do amazing things? That you are beautiful, creative, valuable, and unique? That all of us are showing up to empower you, not one-up you. Put down the song and dance and come as you are darling, we can’t wait to meet you.